~*hmmmn*~
_i.myt.h8.myself.in.da.mornin.4.luvin.u.diz.mch.2nyt_
_but.neverdalez.i.wud.rizk.everything.juz.2.b.wid.u_
Lumipas na ang lungkot ko. Mabisang gamot talaga ang panahon.
-Jeremy, YELLOW HANDKERCHIEF
PANAHON, yes, 1 year had passed this fast. Parang kahapon lang nung natanggap ko ang text niya na nagsasabing: CEZ, YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER. Sa tuwing maiisip ko yun, nalulungkot ako, nasasaktan. Pero tama, mabisang gamot ang panahon. Nalulungkot parin ako pero hindi na kasing dalas ng dati, nasasaktan parin ako pero hindi na kasing sakit katulad noon. Baliw na kung baliw, but, I still dont believe him. Yung mga ipinagtapat niya sakin. In denial? Pwede rin. Pero no one can force me to believe things i dont want to. I'm not hping though, na darating yung araw na mamahalin pa rin niya ako. Katulad nga ng sinabi ko, I've given him up a year ago, and now I'm ready to move on.
It takes time to forget and forever to get over it. The pain might fade away but the memory of the pain will remain in your heart.
-Mr. Servilleno Pacis
IT TAKES TIME TO FORGET, now that a year had passed, kakalimutan ko na lahat ng naramdaman ko, nararamdaman ko at mararamdaman ko for him. Susubukan ko.. Para narin naman sa akin ito eh. If I wont do it now, kelan pa? Kaya susubukan ko na NGAYON. FOREVER TO GET OVER IT. I might forget everything, pero hindi parin ako sure if i would get over those feelings. After all, lahat ng saya, lungkot, sakit, galit, kahunghangan, at kabaliwan na naramdaman ko habang minamahal ko siya eh naging part na ng buhay ko. i may deny it, but those feelings made me complete. I've experienced joy, sadness, anger, pain, love (for a moment, at least), and gladness that is different from what i normally feel with my family, thanks to him. But! THE MEMORY OF THE PAIN WILL REMAIN IN MY HEART forever.
Once you undergo a failed relationship, the pain is always left unaided. Everyone thinks you've moved on, but you'll later realize.. You never stopped loving him, you just learned how to live without him.
YOU NEVER STOPPED LOVING HIM.. Yeah, mahal ko parin siya. But i'm not feeling sad about it. why should i? Lagi kong sinasabi sa iba, when you chose to love, prepare to be hurt. Tama naman ako. Kasi magkakambal lagi yun eh (love and hurt). But i CHOSE not to be sad nor hurt. I want to feel happy about it. Not everyone gets the chance the feel the way I'm feelin' right now. Some are afraid. At kung maramdaman ko man ang sakit once in a while, that won't kill me right? LEARNED TO LIVE WITHOUT HIM, that i would surely do. Hey! For the past 15 years of my life, nabuhay ako ng wala siya. Kahit puro sakit at lungkot noon, kahit hindi ako marunong magmahal, nabuhay parin ako. And now I've learned how to love and be hurt, ngayon pa ba ako susuko? I can live another 15 years and more without him. I can be the person that i wanted to ne, kahit wala siya sa tabi ko. Pero alam kong.. Patuloy ko parin siyang mamahalin.. Hangga't hindi pa ako nakakahanap ng taong mamahalin ko ulit..
The day I met you, i went home carrying a smile. You may be just an ordinary person to a lot of people, but for me, you're someone i'll cherish up to the end of my life.
THE DAY I MET YOU - that was last week of May, year 2003, nagtetext xa sa D LOUNGE and i got his number (or his cousin's). He introduced himself to me with his cousin's identity (who happens to be my bestfriend's friend now). Months later, i knew the real him. i was trully glad i knew him (totoo yun). YOU MAY BE AN ORDINARY PERSON TO A LOT OF PEOPLE (esp. to his DAD) but he has been an EXTRAORDINARY PERSON TO ME. He has changed me into a person i never thought i would be, he have hurt me like no other person can, he managed to touch my heart with his simple but irritable (and sometimes soothing) words, he made me smile during my loneliest days, he made me cry when in fact, i should be happy, he's been the brother i never had, the (boy) bestfriend i've longed for, the companion i always need.. in short, He has been a part of my life for the past 3 (happy, sad, hurtful, contented, anxious, blissful, bored, frustrated, curious, grieving, confident, envious, painful, puzzled and miserable) years kahit hindi ko pa xa personal na nkikilala . i know its foolish to some, that i have loved a person whom i barely knew and i ALMOST (but never) met, but it wont change the fact that once in my life, I fell in love with a stranger.
I am writing all of these in response to the question once asked to me: TATANUNGIN KITA. KAKALIMUTAN MO NA DIN BA? (17-dEC-2005; 7:20 PM)
My answer is NO.. I am going to move on but i wont ever forget that guy. In fact, mamahalin ko parin siya (ang gulo ko noh?) in my own way. But this time, i wont be hurt. I am going to be in full control of myself, of my feelings, of everything that concerns ME. Hindi ko na uli hahayaang saktan ako ng ibang tao. And i wont blame other people for my faults.
IM SO GLAD I MET HIM BUT I HAVE TO MOVE ON.. continue with my life and fulfill my dreams.. Give my family a better life and eventually become the person i have always dreamt of.
-PRINCESS MAE CALIBOSO BERNABE
~*i hope you remember me as the girl who always smile even when her heart is broken and the one who could always brighten up your day, even if she couldn't brighten up her own*~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FORGET MY NAME
NEW FOUND GLORY
tell all my friends I'm dead
I'm leaving you, this time its for good
tell all my friends that I'm dead
it won't be long before you forget my name
can you tell
that I'm losing myself
I think I'm trying too hard
to let it show
to let you know
don't trace your footsteps back to me
I've been gone for a long time
waiting on the sidelines
hoping for a chance to play
well I thought I would never leave anything behind
I also never thought I'd say
tell all my friends I'm dead
I'm leaving you, this time its for good
tell all my friends that I'm dead
it won't be long before you forget my name
can you tell
that I don't know myself
I need someone to remind me
to let it go
please let me know
don't trace your footsteps back to me
cause I've been gone for a long time
waiting on the sidelines
hoping for a chance to play
well I thought I would never leave anything behind
I also never thought I'd say
tell all my friends I'm dead
I'm leaving you, this time its for good
tell all my friends that I'm dead
it won't be long before you forget my name
and if I had the chance
to do it all again
I wouldn't expect anything less
and if I had the chance
to do it all again
I wouldn't expect
I wouldn't expect anything less
tell all my friends I'm dead
I'm leaving you, this time its for good
tell all my friends that I'm dead
it won't be long before you forget my name
forget my name
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GOODBYE TO LOVE
CARPENTERS
I'll say goodbye to love
No one ever cared if I should live or die
Time and time again the chance for love has
passed me by
And all I know of love is how to live without it
I just can't seem to find it
So I' ve made my mind up I must live my life alone
And thought it's not the easy way
I guees I' ve always known
I' d say goodbye to love
there are no tomorrows for this heart of mine
Surely time will lose these bitter memories
And I'll find that there is someone to believe in
And to live for
Something I could live for
All the years of useless search
Have finally reached an end
Loneliness and empty days will be my only friend
From this day love is forgotten
I'll go on as best I can
What lies in the future is a mystery to us all
No one can predict the well of fortune as it falls
there may come a time when I will see that I've been wrong
But for now this is my song
And it's goodbye to love
I'll say goodbye to love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY BROKEN HEART
BRITNEY SPEARS
"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind
Where do I go?
And you didn't hear all my joy through my tears
All my hopes through my fears
Did you now, still I miss you somehow
CHORUS:
From the bottom of my broken heart
There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know
You were my first love, you were my true love
From the first kisses to the very last rose
From the bottom of my broken heart
Even though time may find me somebody new
You were my real love, I never knew love
'Til there was you
From the bottom of my broken heart
"Baby," I said, "please stay
Give our love a chance for one more day"
We could have worked things out
Taking time is what love's all about
But you put a dart
Through my dreams, through my heart
And I'm back where I started again
Never thought it would end
CHORUS
You promised yourself, but to somebody else,
And you made it so perfectly clear
Still I wish you were here
CHORUS
"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALL AT ONCE
WHITNEY HOUSTON
All at once
I finally took a moment
And I'm realizing that
You're not coming back
And it's finally hit me all at once
All at once
I've started counting teardrops
And at least a million fell
My eyes began to swell
And all my dreams were shattered all at once
Ever since I met you
You're the only love I've known
And I can't forget you
Though I must face it all alone
Chorus:
All at once I'm drifting on a lonely sea
Wishing you'd come back to me
And that's all that matters now
All at once I'm drifting on a lonely sea
Holding on to memories
And it's hurt me more than you know
So much more than it shows
All at once
I looked around and found that you were
With another love
In someone else's arms
And all my dreams were shattered all at once
All at once the smile that used to greet me
Brightened someone else's day
She took your smile away
And left me with just memories all at once
Ever since I met you
You're the only love I've known
And I can't forget you
Though I must face it all alone
Repeat Chorus (2X)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ON MY OWN
LEA SALONGA
And now Im all alone again
no where to turn no one to go to
Without a home without a friend without a face to say hello to
And now the night is near
now I can make believe he's here
Sometimes I walk alone at night when everybody
else is sleeping
I think of him and then I'm happy with
the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head
On my own,
Pretending he's beside me,
All alone, I walk with him till morning.
Without him, I feel his arms around me,
And when I lose my way, I close my eyes,
And he has found me...
In the rain,
The pavement shines like silver,
All the lights are misty in the river,
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight,
And all I see is him and me,
Forever and forever...
And I know it's only in my mind,
That I'm talking to myself and not to him,
And although I know that he is blind,
Still I say, there's a way for us...
I love him,
But when the night is over,
He is gone, the river's just a river
Without him the world around me changes,
The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers.
I love him,
But everyday I'm learning,
All my life,
I've only been pretending,
Without me,
His world will go on turning,
A world that's full of happiness,
That I have never known...
I love him... I love him...
I love him... But only on my own...
~iassec_1217_cessai~
